Imaginery Friends Is your Childs Best Friend Invisible

Many children have imaginary friends that they talk to, sing to, play with, argue with and have long involved conversations in some completely original and unique language. Imaginary friends are the psychically bonded twins of a child's fertile imagination, links with a realm that will never be fully explained or understood. Children have no words for it and adults have no memory of it. For the imaginary friend can be forgotten from one birthday to the next, one moment in time to the next.

An imaginary friend can be a vital emotional pressure valve for your child, an instinctive defense and learning mechanism against forces outside their control. Imagine yourself, with boiling emotions and no understanding of such turmoil and no suitable outlet for releasing the pressures of internal conflict.

Role-playing with an imaginary friend helps the child come to terms with how things are done, why they are done and their place in the family dynamics. They learn rules and consequences by separating themselves from a direct role and placing their imaginary friend there instead. The parent will often hear their own words parroted to "friends" who have, apparently, just committed similar errors in judgement as your child. This is good for parent and child. The lessons are taken in to the child's long-term memory and the parent hears how they sound to the child [not always good].

Social values are absorbed as the child "teaches" the imaginary friend the family rules or pours their heart and grievances out to the one person they feel will listen to and understand them. Their imaginary friend accepts them whole-heartedly and unconditionally, and doesn't yell, shout or punish.

Strong emotion can be quite scary for the inexperienced child. They often know they cannot act out their fear or anger on real people so will test the waters with the unreal. Boundaries have to be learned and can be learned safely during playtime with a friend who won't take offence or respond in-kind.

Imagination is also often a major factor. Children with invisible friends often act out stories they've heard, seen or read, concentrating on particular parts that have triggered their imagination with a need to extend the story just a little further. Many children have more than one. Some take on a more defined teaching role and create whole classrooms of imaginary children who they read to, teach lessons, discuss behaviour with, and organise games.

An imaginary friend gives the young child permission to act and speak as they really feel, and to come to terms with emotions they are too young to understand or properly control. It shows them the how and why of getting along in a grown-up world when they are far from grown-up themselves. This is a phase that is left behind in early childhood, usually having faded by the time the child reaches the age of seven [approximately, children have varying levels of development]. The imaginary friend becomes forgotten or absorbed into the child's psyche [who hasn't imagined things they want to say or do, but have been too scared to do them?].

Let your child have as many imaginary friends as they like; the more friends the better in any situation. Welcome this highly creative time in their young lives and accept it as a guide for how they are coping and how you are teaching. Parent and child have many lessons to learn; together, and with their friends.

By: Trish Anderson