Selecting Child Care Providers - Chapter Four - Child Abuse Part 2

Neglect

Neglect of a child encompasses the negligent treatment or maltreatment of a child by a parent or caregiver under circumstances indicating harm or threatened to harm the child’s health and or welfare. Neglect can also include severe malnutrition and endangerment of a child’s body and or health. Physical injury need not occur for child neglect to be reported.

The types of neglect include general neglect and severe neglect, which differ from each other.

General Neglect

General neglect is the deprivation of adequate food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or supervision where no physical or emotional injury to the child has occurred.

Severe Neglect

Severe neglect is the failure to protect a child from endangerment both physically and mentally, and failing to allow growth in these areas.

Indications of Neglect Include

When a Child…

Is frequently absent from school.

Lacks adequate medical care, dental care, immunizations, glasses, etc.

Is consistently dirty and or lacks proper hygiene.

Is inadequately dressed for weather conditions.

Is always hungry, begs or steals food or money from classmates.

Is always sleepy, groggy or tired.

States there is no one at home to provide care or supervision.

Indicates that conditions in the home are extremely unsafe and or unsanitary.

When The Parent or Other Caregiver…

Appear to be indifferent to the child and their needs.

Uninterested towards the care of the child.

Seems depressed.

Behaves irrationally.

Is abusing alcohol or other drugs.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is defined as molestation, lewd touching, any form of sexual assault, incest, sexual exploitation of minors, and the physical and or emotional involvement of a child in sexual activities which can occur between an adult and child or adolescent and child.

Further, child sexual abuse also includes acts of nudity, disrobing, genital exposure, observation of the child (these do not always involve touching, skin-to-skin or genital contact), kissing, fondling, masturbation, oral-genital contact, digital penetration, vaginal or anal intercourse, and child pornography.

Child sexual exploitation defined as the depiction of a minor engaged in obscene acts and the employment or encouragement of a child to engage in prostitution or to pose in live and or photographed sexual performances.

Indications of Sexual Abuse Includes

When a Child… Reports sexual activities to a trusted person.

A Child may be too frightened to report sexual abuse and may make indirect comments about the activity or exhibit a variety of physical and behavioral signals such as:

A detailed and age-inappropriate understanding of sexual behavior.

Demonstrates sophisticated or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior.

Expresses affection in ways inappropriate for the child’s age.

Wears torn, stained, or bloodied underclothing.

Suffers vaginal and or rectal bleeding, pain, itching, swollen genitals, or vaginal discharge.

Becomes pregnant or contracts a sexually-transmitted disease, particularly if very young.

Has difficulty walking or sitting.

Suddenly refuses to change for extra-curricular classes or negates participation in physical activities.

Begins to fail in school, starts delinquent or disruptive behavior.

Exhibits behavioral changes such as hostility, anxiety, withdrawal, fearfulness, or crying without provocation.

Returns to more infantile behavior, such as bed-wetting, thumb sucking, or excessive crying.

Has significant changes in appetite.

Recurrent nightmares, disturbed sleep patterns, and even fear of the dark.

Has fear or intense dislike at being left somewhere or with someone.

Runs away.

Is the victim of other forms of abuse.

When Parent or Other Caregiver…

Is unduly protective of the child.

Severely limits the child’s contact with other children.

Is secretive and isolated.

Describes marital difficulties involving family power struggles or sexual relations.

What Do I Do If I Suspect My Child Has Been Sexually Abused?

False complaints from a child about sexual abuse is quite rare. If a child tells you about any form of sexual abuse, whether or not it involves touching, treat them with compassion and respect.

Believe the child

Assure the child that you will protect them.

Commend the child for telling you about the experience.

Support the child. Assure them that they are NOT at fault or in any way responsible for the incident. Help the child to remove self-blame.

Control your own reactions. Your acceptance is important to the child who has sought you out.

Report the suspected abuse to the police and or a social service agency before going to the school or program where the child says something happened to confront them with your concerns.

Find a specialized agency that can assist you and evaluate sexual abuse victims, such as the Department of Child Services, a hospital, community mental health program or sexual abuse treatment center.

Seek medical attention from a physician with experience and training in detecting and recognizing sexual abuse. Children's hospitals and community sexual abuse treatment programs may provide referrals.

Talk with other parents to ascertain if their child has exhibited similar behavior or physical changes and symptoms.

Take action! It is important because other children may be or will continue to be at risk if nothing is done.

Creating a Positive Atmosphere

It can be quite difficult at times to communicate within your family, especially for working parents. Good communication within your family is the key to keeping your child safe from all forms of abuse. It is up to you, as a parent, to create an atmosphere in which your children are not afraid to confide in you.

Listen to your child and talk with them every day. Encourage them to share their concerns.

Learn about your children's activities and feelings so that changes will be more apparent to you.

Be alert for any changes in personality, attitude, behavior, or physical problems.

Teach your child about strangers and discuss with them whom they can trust.

Teach your child at an early age that it is alright to say "no", even an adult, in certain situations and to tell someone about the incident.

Encourage your child to keep telling until someone helps them. An unprepared child may be too confused or ashamed to admit that abuse has taken place, especially sexual abuse.

Teach your child which touches are good and which touches are bad. Explain that they have the right to say "no" to anyone who might try to touch them, and that if they are confused if it is a good touch or a bad touch, they should say "NO" and tell someone.

Tell your child that someone they know and trust or love (such as a relative, family friend, babysitter, caregiver, teacher or neighbor) might try to touch them inappropriately, get them to do something they don't want to do, or be abusive toward them. Explain that most people do not do these things and they should tell you immediately if this happens.

Explain to your child that some people may try to hurt them and tell them that what they are doing is a secret. Some people even threaten the child by saying their parents will be hurt if the child tells the secret. Tell your child that anyone who does this is wrong.

Make sure your child knows you want to be told about someone who does something hurtful or confusing to them, like touching them, giving them gifts or asking to take a picture of your child.

Re-assure your child that they have done anything wrong and won't be blamed for whatever an adult does to them.

Words that help:

I love you.
You're very special to me.
I'm so lucky to have you.
You're a great kid!
Good job!
You can do it!
I believe in you!
Thank you for being patient while I had to ___.
Tell me about your day.
Let's talk about what's upsetting you.
I'm sorry.

Leaving Your Child With Another Adult

At some point in a child's life their parents will leave them in the care of another adult and some parents even have regular arrangements with friends or family members to care for their child while at work. Children who spend time with other adults who love and care for them can in fact help your child develop confidence and security.

Parents must feel confident about leaving their child in the care of other adults, even if they are relatives and must know the level of care their child is receiving.
To help make a good choice, ask yourself these important questions:

Do I trust this person to take good care of my child?

Will my child be happy in the care of this person?

Is this person capable of caring for a child of this age?

Will there be things for my child to do at this persons place?

Does this person have any problems like health related problems, other commitments, abuse of drugs or alcohol, that might get in the way of their giving my child the care they need?

Is this a safe place and atmosphere for my child?

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