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Parenting Advice for all parents, including moms, dads, single parents and parents-to-be

Expert advice about pregnancy, babies, children and teenagers and their growth stage development, problems and moods.

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If you are looking for an answer to a pregnancy, baby, child, teen or parenthood type of question or puzzle, you are in the right place. Just search on this article directory full of advice for parents.

1. Pregnancy

2. Babies

3. Babies Part 2

4. Babies and Toddlers Part 3

5. Children

6. Teenagers

7. Parenting

8. The Role of Parenting Skills in Child Development

9. Study Loans for Students

10. Family Life Part 1

11. Family Life Part 2

12. Internet Safety for Your Kids

13. Acne

14. Adoption

15. Home Schooling

16. Weddings

17. Powerful Ways to Sharpen Your Memory

18. The Speed Reading Monster Course

19. Biblical Children Stories

20. Potty Training Guide

21. Teen Weight Loss Guide

22. Thanksgiving Crafts

23. Online Dating Guide for Teenagers

24. The Online Wonder Book of Bible Stories

25. Schools

26. College

27. Eleven Empowering Messages to Motivate Your Child

28. How to Win at Child Custody Battle

29. Getting ready for the right relationship

30. Selecting child care providers

31. Rainy day activities for kids

31. How to get your children away from the TV

32. How to become successful as a single parent

33. How to balance work and parenting as a single parent

34. Childhood obesity

35. A parent's guide to medicine safety

36. Dealing with asthma naturally

37. More advice on Parenting: http://www.wikihow.com/Category:Parenting

 

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The Shocking Effect of Negative Messages

I couldn't believe my ears and my eyes when I watched this report on the television. Of course I know (and have written about this subject in one of the articles in "Develop Your Child's Genius" newsletter), that self esteem is a super important factor in a person's success, but the report I was watching really caused Goosebumps all over me. It was astonishing.

They showed a teacher who decided to run an experiment on her little students (kids in elementary school) and teach them a lesson they will never forget. She divided the class into 2 groups by eye color. The blue-eyed kids and the brown-eyed kids. She told them that the brown-eyed kids are bad. They are incapable and inferior students. They don't possess the ability to understand  complicated issues and are slower to learn. After a few hours, the kids who had brown eyes, started performing in an inferior way! They have lost their self esteem, and tested much lower on tests than the blue eyed kids. The teacher has documented the marked reduction in test results and the video showed the depressed demeanor of these kids the rest of the day. 

The day after, the teacher walked into the classroom, and told her students that actually, what she told them the day before was wrong. The kids in the brown-eyed group are not the inferior group, but the superior group. The blue-eyed group is inferior, she said. The same phenomena could be observed here too! The blue-eyed kids started performing much worse on tests and in the class room! 

Subsequently, the teacher told the students that this was an experiment, showed them the results and explained to them in a very clear way, that the color of one's eyes does not affect their intelligence, their performance on tests and their capabilities. She has shown the kids how they have let the teacher's assessment affect them, and told them never to let anybody else's judgment affect them in a negative way. 

This was, I imagine, an unforgettable lesson for these children. It was an unforgettable lesson for me too! 

In addition, there were 2 other researches conducted at 2 different colleges. The subjects were young adults, students at those schools. They were asked to fill out questionnaires on line at high speed. As the results showed, the students were deeply affected by stereotypes. The researches showed that people had bias against old people, and against minorities. What was so surprising was that old people and minorities had conformed to the standard stereotypes. They had a bias against their own groups! One of the researches showed that African Americans, affected by the stereotype that African American people are talented in sports and inferior in academics, conformed to those beliefs and performed poorly on their academics, but were excellent in sports. When the stereotype was changed, and African American students were told that they had high intelligence and low muscle tone, they started performing markedly higher on their academics, but their performance in sports fell. Is this amazing or what!

How can you learn from this to the benefit of your child? Self esteem affects your child's performance in every area of their life, and will affect them for years to come! 

If you analyze what had happened in this research, you will realize that what the teacher did is actually giving the children negative messages. These were negative affirmations, and they were super effective. To negate the negative messages that our children are bombarded with all the time, we can use positive affirmations, and those are very effective too. 

I suggest doing 2 things:

1.  Prepare a list of general positive affirmations that are designed to increase your child's self esteem and confidence. Simply sit down and create a list of all affirmations that come to mind. You can add to this list any time you can think of a new affirmation. A few examples are:

- I am smart, and getting smarter every day.

- I can achieve any goal I set my mind to achieve.

- I am a good person, and I deserve utmost respect.

Then you can repeat them to your child during the day, as many time as you can. Choose an affirmation or two a day, and remember to repeat them to your child. For example: "You are very smart, and you are getting smarter and smarter every day", or "you can achieve any goal you set your mind to achieve", and so forth. Try to repeat  each affirmation at least 3 times. 

Another thing you can do is record a few affirmations (3 times each) onto a recording device. You can read them or have your child read them while recording. Listen to the affirmations any time you can, in the car, or let your child listen to them before going to sleep and first thing in the morning, if you can incorporate it into the schedule. You can choose a favorite song and sing the affirmations to the music, teach the song to your child, and repeat the song any time you feel like it.

2.  Always keep updated with what is going on in your child's life. Sometimes the things that seem small and unimportant to us, have a big affect on our children's lives. Remember these things might be very important to your child. Talk with your child, discuss what happened during the day in school or with friends. If you discover a specific negative message your child had gotten from friends, teachers or any negative events that happened during the day, add a specific positive affirmation to negate this negative message to your affirmation list. Repeat this affirmation to your child as soon as you possible. 

I know that you will not be able to catch all negative affirmations that affect your child. This is unrealistic to expect, but you will be able to negate a good number of them, and help your child immensely by doing this. The general positive affirmations that you repeat to your child every day will help your child deal with the negative messages that you did not find out about.

By Esther Andrews

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Parenting Advice References:

Parenting can be defined as performing the role of a parent by care-giving, nurturing and protecting children as they grow from baby to teenager. Parenting is different from child rearing. In child rearing the emphasis is on the act of training or bringing up a child and the interaction between the parent and child. Parenting emphasises the responsibility and qualities of exemplary behaviour of the parent. Parenting may be carried out by the natural parent(s) or by a substitute. In an ideal world a parent supports every child by consistent, empathic, appropriate behaviours in response to the child's needs. 55

Nowadays advice can be found on the internet or just about anywhere. But some of the good places to find advice are from your own parents, family members, psychologists, ministers of church, teachers, and other child professionals. Most importantly children will look at you for how they should act so if you don't want your children to do something, then you should not do it. Parents need to be active in their child's life at all times, only then will a parent truly know what the child needs. 62

Parenting advice comes in many different forms. Some may use a strict discipline, and others may use more of the friendship method. Whatever fits your family there are some important aspects to parenting that need to be looked at. These are Health, Education, and where to find parenting advice. Nowadays advice can be found on the internet or just about anywhere. But some of the good places to find advice are from your own parents, family members, psychologists, ministers of church, teachers, and other child professionals. Most importantly children will look at you for how they should act so if you don't want your children to do something, then you should not do it. Parents need to be active in their child's life at all times, only then will a parent truly know what the child needs. 15

Although good advice for parents may be found in a variety of resources, Parenting: The Long Journey couples solid advice with encouraging words that can lead to an attitude and relationship approach that will last for the many years after the active parenting of children comes to a close and children enter into adulthood. This makes the material widely applicable to parents of every social class, family structure and education level. 53

When a single woman with children marries a single man with children, this union should be viewed as more than the union of husband and wife - it is the joining of two different cultures. Each family is a tribe unto itself and if this union is to work, each step parent must respect the others' family dynamics. Family dynamics can be as different as night and day. This is why you must come to grips with the idea that you have two different tribes living in your house. 18

Many parents need parenting advice on how to communicate with their children. Sometimes the generation gap gets so wide that children and parents can't even find a way to compromise. At other times, when no parenting advice is forthcoming and the mom and dad have just about given up, they would really rather wish he or she would turn 18 soon so they could send their child away promptly. 69

Angie Larson is an expert in the area of parenting and family matters. She gives helpful tips and suggestions on parenting in the articles on parenting advice site. 62

More than just parent playing is at stake when parents need to work together. Parenting decisions aren't just limited to going to the park or watching TV. They also include what type and kind of education? Which religion or faith a child should be brought up in? What type of child disciplinary measures should be taken? All of these questions and more need to be addressed. So that all parents are on the same page on what they want or think for their children's behaviour and child discipline needs. 89

Another topic that parents quickly admit to needing parenting advice for is Sex Ed. Moms and dads still find the whole idea of sitting a child down and talking to him about the birds and the bees. The session ends with a lot of "unspoken words," and children also find it difficult to ask questions because they feel awkward and uneasy as well. 69

Her special interests in paediatrics include helping parents to parent and teaching health professionals how to help parents parent. She has published 58 papers and is the senior author of Child Care/Parent Care, Doubleday, 1987, a comprehensive book on child care focusing on the needs of the parents as well as those of the child. Dr. Heins was the producer and host of a weekly call-in radio program called The Parenting Show which aired on KNST, Tucson's leading talk radio station for two years. She has written over 800 parenting columns published in the Arizona Daily Star and currently devotes her time to writing, consulting, lecturing, and conducting workshops for parents and those who work with children. 11

Tomorrow's Baby translates these scientific insights into practical advice for parents and parents-to-be. An internationally acknowledged expert in early human development, Dr. Thomas Verny draws on his knowledge of the latest scientific research to explain how, with planning and proper support, parents can create an ideal environment for their babies. Dr. Verny advocates "conscious parenting," which begins with the parent's or caregiver's informed acceptance of the enormous challenge of raising and nurturing a child. He offers a wealth of practical suggestions, from optimal prenatal communication to enhancing infants' empathic abilities, as well as advice for building language acquisition, enhancing intelligence, and developing other social skills. Now, for the first time, parents can learn how to help actualize their child's full potential, beginning with conception. 19

Deborah Ruf, a gifted-child education specialist based in Golden Valley, MN, knows this all too well, having raised two very bright kids, one of whom was a successful child actor. This quickly began causing tension on her dates with a man named Cecil. He was unable to look at them as being just plain different or having a talent or not having a talent.? All kids are different and pretending those disparities don't exist will only frustrate you both. 36

Foster care is when a child is temporarily placed with another family (perhaps with relatives or with carefully screened strangers) while the birth parent or parents work towards resuming care. According to government statistics, about 20,000 Australian children were in foster care in 2003. The birth mother can have regular contact with her fostered child. 57

Nothing makes parents melt like expressing admiration for their kids. So if you want to quell competitive tension and keep those romantic feelings flowing, consider showering your date (or his or her child) with a few flattering observations. What a beautiful/handsome child!? And if you meet the child in person, a private aside like ?Wow, your child seems so articulate/well-mannered/outgoing? Deborah, for one, found this simple tactic worked wonders during a ?family date? 36

Which begs the question of how it it that so many new mothers are so cut off from their own extended family that there is no one else they can go to for help and advice on some of the most important actions they will ever take? How do parents get so switched off from their own children that they don't know how to deal with them? 17

Practical Parenting Advice is a resource for parents and professionals wanting information and support on child behaviour, development and family relationships. The site offers resources such as practical tips, and a child behaviour quiz. 55

One great piece of parenting advice is to let your children know that you love them. It is not sufficient to just buy them things to show the message. It is better to show them that you love them through lots of hugs. Getting involved in the childrens' lives is an important piece of parenting advice. Keep a track of their whereabouts, their friends and what they do. 70

Step parenting advice: rather than focusing on the conflicts in your home (and there will be conflicts), invest your energy in creating good times. During the good times when everyone is happy, bonded and relaxed, you can gently and positively bring up the difficulties and ask your children, step children and spouse what each person in the family can do to help resolve the problem. In this way, you make everyone feel that they are part of the solution. 18

You have to explain to your children the reason for setting rules and decisions and why they have to understand and comply to things. This will help them in developing their own reasoning skills. Involve yourself in activities with children outside the home like going places and having family nights of dinner and movie. 70

The Parenting Education and Support Forum is a national umbrella organisation for all those concerned with or working with children, parents and families in the UK. It provides a focal point for information, debate and the sharing of good practice in parenting education and support. 55

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