Would You Know If Your Child Were Being Bullied? 4 Tips To Keep Them From Becoming A Victim
|
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to Keep Your Kid From Being a Victim
Children bullying other children has been an issue since there were children, and though it has often been downplayed as "part of growing up," it has always had potentially serious implications from an emotional perspective.
But these days, due to a host of factors such as our society's glorification of celebrity and being popular, violence in mass media, and easy access to deadly weapons, the implications can be especially risky. At the extreme, in many of the school shootings over the last decade, the perpetrators were withdrawn students who had a history of being bullied. Though still largely ignored or discounted as a minor issue, bullying is a very serious - and growing - problem.
According to a new study of two schools by UCLA researchers, 47 percent of sixth graders in one school and 46 percent in the other said they'd been bullied at least once during a five-day period.
Bullying can take on many forms-name calling, teasing, spreading rumors, physical aggression-and the end result can be tragic, both for the victim and the bully. After being teased, even if it's "just joking around," kids are seriously affected, and verbal abuse happens twice as often as physical abuse, according to the UCLA study that was published in the March/April issue of the journal Child Development.
"The students who were beat up and those who were called names were equally bothered. Kids reported feeling humiliated, anxious or disliking school on days when they reported incidents, which shows there is no such thing as 'harmless' name-calling or an 'innocent' punch," said Jaana Juvonen, UCLA professor of psychology and co-author of the study.
When bullying gets bad enough, kids can end up missing school or worse. Back in 2002, one 12-year-old Connecticut boy who had missed 44 days of school as a result of bullying ending up committing suicide by hanging himself. Though suicide and school shootings demonstrate extremes of what can happen if a child is bullied, there are other lasting impacts that can occur.
Says Alice Pope, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychologyat St. John's University, the effects of bullying can last a lifetime and include lowered self-esteem, vulnerability to depression, problems with sexual relationships and, as mentioned above, suicide.
Victims of bullies are also more likely to report physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches and colds than kids who aren't bullied.
The bully, too, is more likely to have problems later in life, she says, ranging from lowered school attendance and performance to an increased likelihood of committing criminal acts. Bullies, like victims, also have a greater risk of depression and suicide.
So just how widespread is bullying?
"Bullying is a problem that large numbers of kids confront on a daily basis at school; it's not just an issue for the few unfortunate ones," said Juvonen. And the cycle of bullying is similar to that of a yo-yo dieter: the more a child is bullied, the more depressed, lonely and anxious they feel. This makes them want to avoid school, so their grades and social ties break down, while meanwhile making them more psychologically vulnerable to being bullied.
Children appear most likely to be bullied (or at least are most affected by bullying) between the ages of 11 and 13. Fortunately, as children get older, the likelihood of being bullied goes down.
Is Your Child Being Bullied?
A child who's bullied often exhibits some of these warning signs, says the National Mental Health Information Center:
* Becomes socially withdrawn or has poor social skills.
* Has few or no friends.
* Feels sad, alone, rejected, not liked, picked on or persecuted.
* Often complains of feeling sick.
* Doesn't want to go to school or skips school.
* Brings home damaged possessions or "loses" possessions often.
* Cries easily, talks of running away or suicide.
* Has changes in appetite and sleeping patterns.
* Threatens violence to self and others.
* Displays "victim" body language such as hung head or shoulders, avoiding eye contact.
* Tries to take "protection" to school (stick, knife, etc.).
4 Ways to Help Your Child From Becoming Bullied
Kids who have low self-esteem, few friends or lack social skills are often the targets of bullies, simply because they're less likely to fight back or pose a real challenge to the bully. The National Mental Health Information Center recommends that parents take the following four steps to prevent their kids from becoming a victim to a bully:
1. Instill self-confidence in your child.
2. Help your child establish good social skills.
3. Teach your child to speak out for him or herself.
4. Teach your child to seek help if harassed, from you and other caring adults.
What to do if Your Child is Being Bullied
Here are seven simple steps to take if you suspect your child is being bullied (see the box above for signs your child may be at risk), from the National Mental Health Information Center:
1. Make sure your child knows being bullied is not his or her fault.
2. Let your child know that he or she does not have to face being bullied alone.
3. Discuss ways of responding to bullies.
4. Teach your child to be assertive.
5. Tell your child not to react, but to ignore the bully, walk away and get help if pursued.
6. Tell your child to report bullying immediately to a trusted adult.
7. Contact the school/teacher.
For those of you interested in keeping your little one from becoming a bully, don't miss the article below, "9 Key Reasons for You and Your Family to Kill Your Television." It explains how 4-year-olds who watch a lot of TV are more likely to become bullies when they're older.
Sources
Science Daily April 11, 2005
Child Development. 2005 Mar-Apr;76(2):435-50
Bullies: More Than Sticks, Stones and Name Calling
Bullying Seen as Big School Problem
The National Mental Health Information Center
Focus on Social Issues
From the FREE SixWise.com e-newsletter, the Web's #1 most read newsletter with original articles in all 6 areas of life leading to complete wellness.
|
|
|
Im A Father, Doesnt Anyone Care?
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the shovel. My back ached, and I was chilled to the bone.I'd had enough for one day.I entered the house and heard the sounds of voices engaged in a friendly game of cards. My wife and kids were sprawled out on the floor of the family room, and they were oblivious to my arrival. "Hi guys!" I yelled. There was no answer. "Hi there!" I tried again. "You can't use that card!" I heard my daughter shriek.Then the thoughts started to come. "I'm invisible to them!" I told myself. "All the stuff I do around here, and does anybody notice it? I'm working my tail off again, and they're in here p...(related: Parenting)
Who Will Be Their Guardian?
If you are like most people today, you do not have a will. Thereasons for this failure are many, with the most common being along the lines of "I don't have enough assets to worry about", "I don't know how to write a will", or...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences
If you spend any time in the parenting section of the library or your local bookstore, you will find hundreds of books on disciplining and raising your children. All the leading experts have their own ideas about what works and what doesn't. As a parent, you have your philosophy that you bring to the table. Most of your thoughts come from what you learned as a child. You either liked the way your parents raised you, agreed with some o...(related: Parenting)
The B Word
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few things tried my patience as much as did the statement, "This is boring!" As I reflect back on my many years in the classroom, I can't help but feel a tad bit sorry for the first kid w...(related: Parenting)
A Night Out For Mom & Dad
Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family member?It is Saturday night and you have planned for a babysitter to entertain and care for your children while you have a date with your spouse. Aaaahhhh adult time! Your sitter arrives and greets the kids and your eager dog. As you go over the rules, meal plan and emergency numbers your furry family member follows your every move. He even almost models how to diaper the youngest one. He is excited and not sure w...(related: Parenting)
No, No, No -- What Else Is A Parent To Say?
The word no is probably the most overused word in the English language. I speak from experience since I myself use it frequently.I might begin a normal day by saying, "No, Joshua, you may not have a hotdog for breakfast," or "No, Alex, please don't throw your cereal on the floor." After breakfast, I might say, "No, Joshua, don't hit your brother," or "No, Alex, don't kick your brother."While I'm making lunch, I usually need to tell Alex...(related: Parenting)
Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Simple Suggestions To Make Your Life Easier
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able to Forget -Let go of grudges you may hold against your child's other parent, who is absent from BOTH of your lives. Holding onto feelings of anger will not change your situation and will probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need to devote to creating a positive environment for your child. If you dwell on y...(related: Parenting)
Top 20+ Reasons To Pay Your Kid An Allowance
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will learn how to save for the future3. They will learn that money doesn't "grow on ...(related: Parenting)
7 Ways Busy Families Can Volunteer
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as a family. Volunteering--teaches kindness, compassion and respect.--deepens family relationships. --gives kids a sense of empowerment.--promotes learning about areas of interest, such as hunger, homelessness or human rights.--doesn't require a lot of time.--is fun.--changes lives.An excellent resource for finding volunteer opportunities is "The Busy Family's Guide to Volunteering" by Jenny Friedman (Robins Lane Press). Visiting www.volunteermatch.org can help you locat volunteer opporunities in your area.Here are my favorite family volunteering opportunities:1. PREPARE A MEAL FOR A HOMELESS SHELTER OR SOUP KITCHEN. Even young children can help with shopping, washi...(related: Parenting)
Spending Time With Your Child
Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children to get any sense that they are loved and wanted, you have to be prepared to spend some time with them. I know you are all thinking, so tell me something I don't know. My point in all of thi...(related: Parenting)
How To Get Your Children Brand Free
Those of you that have children know what an excursion to the local mall or supermarket can be like. If you're not careful, this simple trip can easily become a wallet draining experience.How often have you heard:"I want Luchables beca...(related: Parenting)
Empty Nest Syndrome
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and Paula was struggling with a deep inner emptiness. While she knew this day was coming, she was not really prepared for the intense hollowness that welled up within. After all, she had a life of her own. Her work as an occupational therapist, which she had gone back to after all her three children were in school, was fulfilling to her. She was fortunate in having been able to schedule her time to be home when her children came home from school so she could take them to their various activities. Paula had been a loving and devoted mother and was very proud of her children. She had been looking forward to this time for herself and her husband, but now that it was here, Paula felt lost.It's not that she didn't have things she loved to do. She was a talented and a...(related: Parenting)
Medications: Addressing Parental Fears And Concerns
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to follow her pediatrician's recommendation of placing her young son on medication. His difficult behaviors had escalated in recent years and after trying behavioral strategies and food elimination diets, there simply hadn't been much progress in his maintaining himself. His behavior at school was deteriorating to the point where the teachers were concerned about his progress academically, psychologically and socially. When the medication suggestion came up, Jane (not her real name) was distraught."Drugs scare me", she said. "I guess it's an option I need to think about, but I'm not happy about it".No parent loves the idea of using medications for children who are exhibiting behavioral problems and I believe that other strategies should be explored first, before reac...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting