Whine Oh Whine Am I The Only One?
|
I thought I was the only one in the world with a whiny 5-year-old. All the other 5-year-olds that I know of are either well-behaved or are total monsters! My elder child is a cross between the two ? most times he's well-behaved and sometimes a total monster. And when he's a monster, mommy turns into an uglier one (blushing in embarrassment).
I don't want this to sound like a "Dear Thelma" article with me doing my whining online and venting it angrily out at readers, about how unfair this world is and how horrid my child is whenever he whines?when in actual fact, I think the problem lies with me. I have a problem with giving him the attention he needs, therefore, he resorts to whining to get my attention.
Does my younger son whine? Not as often as my elder child. My younger son is wiser, he uses a more effective method to get my attention. He would yank my sleeve or part of my clothing up (or any other embarrassing parts of my clothing that reveals undesirable parts of my body) and place hot and wet kisses there! Boy oh boy, you have to give it to the boy for knowing how to get my attention.
Anyway, let me get back to the topic here?.whining.
THE VERY BASICS ABOUT WHY TODDLERS AND PRESCHOOLERS WHINE ::
From a very young age, kids need their parents and rely on adults for everything. And to get those things, he has to learn how to get the adults' attention. As babies, they cry. As toddlers, they cry and kick around. As preschoolers, they whine and complain.
The reason why children and kids whine and put up a fuss is because they want something from you and they feel powerless in obtaining it. If they know how to get your attention, like my younger son, they won't whine. It's only when their calls for help are not answered or if they are not getting their way that their calls rise in pitch, resulting in a whine.
Children whine because they are looking for a response and it could be good response or bad response. They want your attention and if bad attention is the only kind of attention that they capable of getting, they'll take it and figure out how to turn it around after that.
HOW TO DEFINE WHINING TO YOUR WHINING PRESCHOOLER ::
Instead of pointing a finger in their faces (which I have the tendency to do, as well, when I am stressed), try pinpointing their whining. The moment they start whining about something, state very firmly, "You're whining and I can't hear you when you do that. Can you please talk in your normal voice now?" If your preschooler doesn't understand what you're saying, repeat the word 'whining' and then imitate him whining. You'll either end up with a wiser child or you'll both end up rolling on the ground with earth-shaking laughter. Either way, it's good news.
HAVE YOU NOTICED WHEN IT IS THAT YOUR CHILD IS MOST LIKELY TO WHINE? ::
Take a wild guess?..yes, when you're in the middle of something important, trying to concentrate on a game or a television program! It's when you're most occupied with your own things or not focused on them.
RESPOND TO YOUR CHILD AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE OR POSITIVELY REDIRECT THEM. ::
The worst thing you can do to a child is to snap at them when they're asking something from you nicely. That's like saying, "Not now. Try whining. I might get angry about it and answer you". Instead, respond to them immediately, as you would any other adults. If you're in the middle of something important, you can always explain to your child as patiently and kindly as you can that you are doing something important. Explain to them that you won't ignore them but if they can wait, they should. Most preschoolers can understand this type of instruction ? they can understand more than we give them credit for.
DON'T JUST SAY 'LATER' TO A WHINING CHILD ::
Later could mean 5 minutes, it could mean 1 hour, gee whiz, it could mean TOMORROW! Give your preschooler a ballpark figure and a realistic length of time that they should expect the wait to be. Once you're done with whatever that is that you're doing, keep your promise.
If he waits it out, offer encouragement, offer congrats, shower praises on him and make him feel like the President of the WORLD for waiting it out so long.
Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and writer who has been working from her home in Selangor, Malaysia the past 6 years. She is the author of "Raising Little Magicians", "No Products to Sell", "The Lance in Freelancing" and other popular books. For more information, please visit http://www.marshamaung.com and for her books, visit http://www.lulu.com/marshamaung
|
|
|
Second Letter To My Daughter
Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry with me always in my briefcase, it's hard to fathom that the short haired, smiling baby holding a crawfish and wiggling its claws has turned into the beautiful goldilocks gi...(related: Parenting)
Diagnosing Adhd In Children, An Introduction
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children or adults is going to have their own opinion on how Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - ADD or ADHD - should be diagnosed. Some clinics take the perspective that "more is good," and will recommend a large battery of tests, often costing many thousands of dollars. Other clinics, typically with hurried physicians, will simply give a brief rating scales to the parents and then make a quick diagnosis and prescribe treatment, usually a medication.
Unfortunately neither of these extremes is in the patient's best interest.
Over-diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a big problem. There are some children who are diagnosed as havin...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: Teens And Violence
I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:"How can all this teen violence be happening?"My questions are:"How could this not be happening"and"Why doesn't it happen even more often?"
How To Foster A Love Of Reading And Writing In Your Child
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When reading and wiring are a regular part of your family's life, you send your child the message that they are enjoyable, valuable and great ways to learn. Here are some ways you can start helping your ch...(related: Parenting)
Friends Are A Gift You Give Yourself
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk about a month ago. He had gotten pretty full of himself and acted like he was too cool for the rest of the family. Pretty typical teenager behavior, but I didn't like it. I had gotten to the end of my patience with him and laid into him about how lousy it felt to be treated that way. We ended up in a huge fight. He argued that he wasn't acting any different than normal and that I was just choosing to see things negativel...(related: Parenting)
Tips For The Classroom Teachers With Adhd Students
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom! It is hard enough being a classroom teacher today, but when you add to the difficulties two or three children with either Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or minor head injuries from FAS, managing a classroom can be a real challenge!
The ADHD Information Library has designed a web site just for you classroom teachers. We have taken 500 classroom interventions that we have gathered over the years from dozens of sources, and placed them on the site for you to visit, consider, and use if appropriate. Consider it a resource from classroom teachers to classroom teachers. The site is located at http://www.ADDinSchool.com, and we would invite you to visit often.
He...(related: Parenting)
Parenting---roots And Wings
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark card adage that goes something like this: Parents give their children two great gifts---one is roots, the other is wings. This is what I address in this article.As parents, we pray for our children's safety, health and happiness. We do everything we know to help make these things happen for them.At some point in our lives, we developed the principles and values that guide our life decisions. Our parents and/or caregivers certainly had influence over this but not complete determination. Some of us gladly adopted the values of...(related: Parenting)
School Issues: When Should An Adhd Child Be Held Back In School?
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't mean to suggest that my comments here are the definitive thoughts on the subject. For a parent to even consider the issue, things have to be pretty problematic at school. So, even though these thoughts may be inadequate to cover your individual situation, I will share them with you anyway...
Consider these things:
1. How old is your child? If you child is 4 or 5 years old (especially with males) and is struggling in Kindergarten, he may simply be too young for structured learning. Not a big deal. Bring him home and work with him for another year. I usually recommend that parents start their sons in Kindergarten at age 6 anyway. And ma...(related: Parenting)
Help Your Children To Love Reading
It is so important to create an environment that promotes the love of reading. Not only is reading necessary for survival in today's world, it is educational, it sparks imagination, it is a stress reliever, provides entertainment and enjoyment, the list goes on.Here are some ideas to help you help your child love reading.
- The most important thing a parent can do to teach a child to love reading is for the parent to let the children see how much you love reading. You need to set the example.
- Set aside a time each day when everyone in the family reads. Perhaps it is for half an hour after school or before bed every day. Be consistent.
- Read to your children. Even after they are old enough to read themselves, it ...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting