Teenagers And Stress: What Parents Can Do To Help
|
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how to support their teenagers who are complaining about the stress in their lives.
What parents may not realize, is that what they do every day by providing healthy food, support, and a comforting home, provides the very stress-antidotes their teens need. Deborah Weinstock-Savoy, Ph.D.,a psychologist who specializes in working with families says "The basic nurturing that parents offer in providing a loving and comfortable home is the first line of defense."
Weinstock-Savoy points out that home should be a place where kids can re-charge their batteries, feel safe and supported. When teenagers have the support they need, when they eat right and get enough sleep, they usually have much of what it takes to manage the stress they will confront.
Parents can help teens in some specific ways, too. Primarily this has to do with teaching, or coaching their teenagers toward problem solving. Parents need to "engage the teen's owns sense of what s/he needs," says Weinstock-Savoy. She says parents and their teenagers can explore this together, with the teen being asked to offer insight and suggestions, as usually kids have ideas about this. This is the direction parents need to take because it helps the teen develop necessary coping and problem-solving skills.
Assisting kids in becoming more self-aware is an extension of this thought. It may not be immediately obvious to kids, so parents should help guide them to a growing awareness of themselves, which will help them learn to identify situations, and solutions. Through this they begin to develop strategies that will be tools they will use for the rest of their lives.
While this family specialist makes these recommendations, she is quick to admit that sometimes parents are faced with "kids who won't allow them to share their wisdom with them." This makes it important for parents to help ensure their teenager has other adults in whom s/he can confide and go to for advice. "Parents need to identify for themselves who else is out there, who else will help provide advice, help their teens safe, and offer support." She calls this "extending the mantle of support," and points out that this is as important for parents as it is for kids. Parents should know the adults in their teens life to some extent; knowing that they share your families values and will be providing sound advice is another way of providing support for your child, only this time it's from behind the scenes.
What are the biggest sources of stress for teenagers? "Peer relationships and managing school," according to Weinstock-Savoy. She points out that kids need to have a sense of belonging with their peers. This provides an important buffer and helps them deal with the stress they confront. Missing this, the resulting sense of loneliness serves to increases their stress. School, and all that entails, is often a source of stress for teenagers. And thirdly, the important developmental steps they are taking during adolescence in developing their identity also create stress. Although this is a more abstract concept, it is an important part of the life of teenagers.
Parents who are tuned in to their teenagers, sensitive in providing support, encouragement, love and a nurturing home environment are doing all the right things to help their kids learn to deal with the stress they confront in typical situations every day.
© 2004 Sue Blaney
Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child's Middle School Years. As a communications professional and the parent of two teenagers, she speaks frequently to parents and schools about parenting issues, improving communications and creating parent discussion groups. Visit our website at http://www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com
|
|
|
Top Seven Tips For Back-to-school Success
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These seven tips from http://www.goalsettingforstudents.com explain how to help your child set and achieve goals for the new school year.
1. Set 30, 60 and 90-day goals - with your child. What's most important for the first 30 days? Ask your child what they plan to accomplish and help them make a plan to get there. Creating a regular routine with time for homework, chores, outside activities and free time is critical. Help your child tweak their schedule for the best way to spend their time. At the end of the first 30...(related: Parenting)
Why A Father Is Not A Dad
It can be said that any man who procreates is afather, whether present in that child's life or not. While this is technically true, it really takes a man tobe a dad!There is nothing more insulting than a cavalier manthinking he has every right in the world to see thechild he helped to create, but was never there for himor her. It is as if he or she is obligated to him likethat of a debt.As a child of a broken home and now as a fathermyself, I know the purest definition of being a dad isthe time spent with your child that will always prevailin the end.Would you remember your father more if he was amillionaire but never there, or a near-penniless manwho spent time with you and showed you the loveyou needed?To me, it's a no brainer!However, many dynamics can and do interfere withbein...(related: Parenting)
Choosing Names For Twins
There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals rather than a pair. But if you must choose names that go together here are a few suggestions. But first, always make sure the first name goes with the surname, and watch out for the initials - spell out baby's initials to make sure you are not increasing her chances of being teased or bullied. Also, keep it sensible; we came across twins the other day named Mercedes and Porche - admittedly the babies will probably cost about the same as the cars by the time they leave home, and perhaps Daddy would have preferred the cars?! OK, now to the suggestions. ...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: What To Do When Your Teen Feels Left Out
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age girl crying alone. My first impulse was to go over and check on her. Worried that my approach might be taken the wrong way, I just smiled at her and went in the store to meet my wife. I forgot about it until we came out to the car.Same girl, still crying.My wife went to see what was going on. Turns out that the girl was upset because she'd been treated badly by some friends and felt left out. My wife told her she went through that, too, as a kid. Then the girl hit her with the big question:"Does it get any better?"Does it? Well, yes and no.The yes part...(related: Parenting)
Why Fathers Are Such A Necessary Component In The Raising Of Their Children.
The first year of a child's life is the most crucial time for Dad's to be present and loving and hugging his child. According to clinicians in the first year of birth babies relate to behaviors not language.The most important thing a father can do for his children is to develop a strong relationship with their mother and with his children. Relationship is what separates the strong family from the dysfunctional family. A child needs a strong relationship with his/her father far more than ...(related: Parenting)
Top 10 Ways To Motivate Your Student
As the new school year begins, parents play a pivotal role in their child's success. Here are 10 tips for motivating your student from GoalSettingforStudents.com.
1. Stress "I'll Make It Happen" words. Encourage your child to use positive, motivating words like yes, I can, and I will.
2. Minimize "Bummer Words." Avoid using negative or limiting language in discussions with your children. Some of the mo...(related: Parenting)
Family Meals: When Dinner Schedules Dont Match
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around the table, family members connect, children learn the art of conversation, and a spirit of peace and thankfulness can flourish.But work, long commutes, sports, m...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be able to do? How do they earn trust and responsibility?A. Good questions. One way is to determine how much trust the teen-ager has earned.To use a banking metaphor, if the teen-ager has made enough deposits in the ``trust bank,'' then he or she has earned the privilege of making a few withdrawals - that is, the teen has...(related: Parenting)
Parenting: The Road I Chose
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter my living room floor on a constant basis, just seems to be part of the game of parenting. I realize it doesn't have to be that way. I could spend my time picking up after the little hon-yocks, and scr...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting