Playground Pettiness
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Recently I took my two children to a popular new park in the area. It's abeautiful new playground, all wood, divided into different areas of play fordifferent age groups. It's wonderful for me as well, as my children can playat age appropriate areas and I can see/interact with both of them at thesame time. This is what makes it our entire family's favorite playground, aswell that for many other families in the area.
When we arrived at the park this particular day, there was only one otherfamily there. It was extremely hot, and I told my kids we'd only be able tostay for a small amount of time. I wanted them to wear themselves out a bit,but not pass out. I assumed my normal location on a wooden bench andsettled down, knowing that I would be able to see and hear whatever mychildren were doing. It didn't take long before I noticed a problem.
There's this really neat seat swing that my daughter (4) loves to swing in.She had taken up a position standing by the swing, waiting for it'soccupants to finish. After 10 minutes, I saw her run past me saying "no,leave me alone, I don't want to play" to a smaller child who was chasingher. This smaller child belonged to the occupant of the swing. Thatoccupant, was her Mother.
In the Mothers lap was a infant, approximately six to nine months old. There are infant swings right next to the red chair swing, but the Motherwas enjoying the chair swing with the infant in her lap. When we had firstarrived, I didn't think too much about it. Unusual, yes. A problem, no.Until now.
Now this Mother is glaring at my daughter, who is running away from herdaughter, because the Mother is still in the swing my daughter is waitingfor. Everytime my daughter walked near the swing to continue to wait forher turn, this other little girl followed her. Her Mother was alternatingher glare between me and my daughter, so I suggested that we play somewhereelse until they were done. My daughter said firmly "No". The Mother turned and fixed her death stare back on me, as if to say "whatkind of parent are you?!". I replied to my daughter "That's fine, but you need to be nice tothe other little girl". Now she also glared at me. I justcouldn't win.
She stood there, waiting her turn for the swing another 5 minutes before theMother got all huffy, grabbed her daughter by the arm, and dragged her andthe baby off to another side of the park. Once again she was glaring at me,keeping her eyes fixated us as she walked away. Cursing at me I'm sure. Iapologized to her, because obviously, she thought we'd done something wrong.She didn't respond, kept that evil stare on us, and continued walking.
I wanted to cry, but instead I grabbed my daughter, told her that sheshouldn't have been so rude to the little girl (after all, that's whatlittle girls do, follow bigger girls around) and put her in the swing. Ipushed her for about two minutes, called for my son, and headed to the car.In order to get there, we had to pass the other Mom on the way out, so onceagain I apologized, thinking naively maybe she hadn't heard me the firsttime.
Again, I got the stare of death and no response.
In the car, my son wanted to know what had happened. I wasn't even sure. "What had we done wrong??? Why was I apologizing to this strange, bitterMother?" I thought to myself.
Then the answer came to me. Because I'm a nice person. That's it, pure andsimple. I don't like seeing other people upset.
So, I told my son (and daughter) that what the other Mother had done waswrong. Instead of asking my daughter if she'd like a turn, or evenaddressing her with a simple "I'm not done yet sweetie, it's going to beawhile" she just kept swinging. Ignoring her, as if she didn't exist. She put her needs in front of not only her other childs, but she broke thecardinal rule of Motherhood; she turned her back on another child. Youjust don't do that.
I personally don't feel she should have been on the swing at all. That assoon as we arrived and my daughter walked over, she should have offered to get up.However, just because that's what I would have done, doesn't mean that's howeveryone should feel or act. That said, I won't budge in my belief that shewas acting childishly, not only because she didn't address my daughter in somekind of friendly manner (after 20 minutes of waiting), but by the glaring and pouting she kept carrying onwith. Shame on her.
A couple of days later, I wished I had done things differently. I wished Ihad approached the Mom and asked if we could have a turn on the swing. I wish I hadn't apologized for something that I don't feel was our fault.But most of all, I wish I'd never met her and her bitterness.
The moral of this story is, don't expect a parent to do the right thing,they can be just as selfish as children. Maybe even more so.
Amy Fleeman is a married Mother of two and a loyal but overzealous beagle. Amy is the co-owner of http://www.RaisingOurKids.com and enjoys sharing her opinions and life experiences with the site visitors and newsletter readers. To hear more crazy stories and strong opinions, (along with rational parenting advice and some freebies) subscribe to RaisingOurKids Newsletter by clicking here.
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