Personal Honor
|
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when they receive validation for the way they are living, or, have lived, that life. These moments are usually quiet ones, with no fanfare celebrating the occasion. Yet, the importance of these moments has no equal. To those of us who have given of our time, our love, our care, ourselves, they are of far greater private, personal significance, than can be stated.
A few years ago, I found myself in a personally trying situation. It was during this period that I was paid what I feel will be the finest compliment I shall ever receive. It concerned my conduct during this time. My eldest daughter remarked that she believed me to be the most honorable person she would ever know. For me, as a parent, it was a defining moment.
I was blessed with another such moment recently, courtesy of my eldest grandson. Although he's a teenager now, we maintain the close relationship begun in his early years. We enjoy conversing. No subject is taboo, and he feels free to discuss whatever is of interest to him, or of concern. On this particular occasion, he was endeavoring to put into words, his feelings concerning something that was of great importance to him. By his demeanor, his urgency of voice, I realized this was something with which he had been struggling.
He began by seeking my opinion. What did I think of people who were always changing? Well, I remarked, in life, it's good to remain flexible. Narrow-minded thinking limits a person's potential. He shook his head. No, he wasn't talking about that. He said he realized a person must have an open mind. He was speaking of how people live their lives. I listened to him, as he continued endeavoring to impart his meaning to me. Suddenly the meaning dawned on me. I asked if he were talking about personal honor. Was he referring to the personal rules of conduct we adopt for ourselves, the morals we choose? Yes, he replied, that was it exactly! Why, he wanted to know, did people sometimes abandon these? Wasn't that like not being true to yourself? Didn't they feel bad about themselves? Wasn't that like letting your self down?
I looked at this young man, this human being for whom I feel so much love, and chose my next words with great care. Yes, son, I said to him, it's letting your self down. Choosing actions that go against your personal code of honor diminishes you, as a human being. Even during the most trying times in life, especially during those times, remaining true to your self is of utmost importance. Even when certain actions are perfectly acceptable to others, or when they seem to be the easier choices, or when said actions may in some way benefit you in the short term. In the end, if they go against your core beliefs, you will carry the ill consequences with you, for the rest of your life.
He listened intently to my words. I could see him weighing them, mulling over the concept. He then nodded, and replied that yes, he understood. He went on to say that there were things he felt he would not, could not do, and stay true to himself. He stated what I had told him was like when a person does something wrong, and even if no one else ever knows, the person who does the act carries the guilt of it. He remarked that he hoped he would be strong enough, in life, to never let him self down. I replied that I had great faith in the fact that he would indeed, have enough strength. He smiled, and said, I love you Grams. In a voice touched with deep pride, and sincere affection, I replied that I was rather fond of him, too.
There are moments, in the lives of parents and grandparents...
Jeannine Schenewerk is a freelance writer residing in Atlanta, Georgia. She maintains an informative, upbeat site for mature women at: http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com
|
|
|
What Values Are We Giving Our Children?
On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago, I went to South London to receive a message sent from Nigeria. As I entered the lift, I saw a couple, apparently in their early 20s, smoking marijuana while their young son sat comfortably in his push-chair. As I was going down through the staircase, I saw another three children in their teens smoking marijuana and drinking beer.The above situation depicts the state of our children abroad. What values are we giving our children in foreign lands? Is it the environment or our work that forbids us from giving our children good values, home training, love and care? Or did we dump the values we were brought up with at the airport as we boarded the aircraft to England?Agreed, many parents work har...(related: Parenting)
The Value Of Play
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for the pursuit of happiness now feels a collective guilt about the very idea of anything fun? How did this happen? When did we begin placing so much priority on productiv...(related: Parenting)
Marriages May End But Families Are Forever
It was at that time when our marriage was falling apart and we completely hated each other when we needed to work constructively as parents, as our child's world was crumbling too.I have been divorced for over five years now and have a beautiful eleven year old daughter. My ex-husband has re married. They now have a baby girl. I get along very well with my ex husband and his wife and there are many reasons for this friendship.Dec...(related: Parenting)
Fizzy Sherbet ? A Sweet Science Lesson For Your Kids!
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop was probably my favorite treat as a child, but I never knew what was in the sherbet and why it sparkled and tingled on my tongue! Try making some with your kids and enjoy a mini science lesson in the process.The basis of the sherbet is icing sugar (confectioners' sugar). 50g will make enough for about 6 children. For that amount you will also need a scant teaspoon each of bicarbonate of soda and citric acid. You can buy the latter, in the form of a white powder, very cheaply in small quantities from your chemist or pharmacy. Children will also enjoy having a lollipop o...(related: Parenting)
The B Word
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few things tried my patience as much as did the statement, "This is boring!" As I reflect back on my many years in the classroom, I can't help but feel a tad bit sorry for the first kid w...(related: Parenting)
Teaching Reading: Part One
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is when they learn how to read. You've probably asked yourself, "When is the best time to teach my child to read?" You can research this until you are blue in the face, but the answer is really very simple. You've already started, because from the moment...(related: Parenting)
Old-fashioned Ways To Inspire Children
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls and walls of toys that are loud -- toys that require batteries, have flashing lights, or that look like your child's favorite movie character. What ...(related: Parenting)
Best Investment
Every week I write something about the stock market - how to, when to and where to put your money and how to protect it from loss if you do. This week I want to say something very important to the young folks about success. And you parents take note if your kids are still young.One of these days you are going to graduate from high school and, hopefully, college. Either one fits the bill here - even if you don't graduate.A very small percentage of your peers are going to become very successful. Success in the U.S. is mostly defined as someone who makes a lot of money; that is our usual yardstick. From your graduating class there will be 2 or 3 who make i...(related: Parenting)
Five Easy Steps To Picking The Perfect Baby Name
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy thatwill, in fact, last throughout your child's lifetime is thechoice of your baby's name. (Unlike, for example, yourchoice of stroller or whether to use Lamaze or hypnosis toease labor pains.) To choose the best name for your baby,follow these simp...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting