Considering Daycare? Consider The Pros And Cons
|
When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know whether to send your child to daycare or not. We have provided many of the pros and cons of sending your child to daycare for your consideration. In our opinion, nothing replaces the day-to-day interaction that you can provide with your child. We also believe that some interaction with other children either through occasional daycare, part-time, or through play-groups and other educational learning programs are invaluable. We also recognize that Mom or Dad also needs to have a break and occasional daycare can provide that for them. What we don't believe in is a baby or toddler being in someone else's care for eight hours or more a day everyday! That's not fair to your child. So with all that in mind, please consider the pros and cons listed below. And may you make the right decision for your children and yourself.
UPSIDE of Daycare:
· Always more than one person available to watch, care for, supervise, and feed your child
· Interaction with other children
· Develop social skills at an early age
· Kid's days are pretty much scheduled, routine, and consistent
· Daycare centers don't call in sick
· Kids receive a lot of mental stimulation
· Your house stays neater (although my son can make a mess in minutes)
· The kids enjoy the change of scenery and toys
· Cost is less than for a nanny
· English-as-second-language kids have more exposure to English
DOWNSIDES of Daycare:
· Nighttime baths vs. possibly every other day
· Laying out their clothes
· Packing nutritious lunches vs. fast food snacks
· Morning rush to get out of the house on time
· Allow extra time to make the stop and drop-off
· Your child screaming, "Mommy don't go!!"
· The guilt and bad feelings because you're leaving them behind
· Less one-on-one attention from caregivers
· Potential personality conflicts at the center between parents and staff
· Potential personality conflicts between the children
· Ethics taught are the centers or the caregiver
· Values taught are the centers or the caregiver
· Possibly no ethics or values taught at all
· Political influences are those at the center/school
· Less bonding between parent and child
· Child learns early on that you won't be there for them when they need you
· You don't get to see and experience all the "firsts" that your child goes through
· You can NEVER recapture those things you miss
· When your child has a boo-boo you're not there to make it better
· When your child is excited about what she/he has learned, you're not there at the moment they want to share it with you
· When they're not feeling well you leave them to someone else to care for them
· When they're sick no one will baby them like you will
· More exposure to health issues: ringworm, lice, and colds/flues
· You're not there to kiss away their tears
· You're not there to waylay their fears
· You're not there to set their wild ideas back on track
· No opportunity to have a spontaneous day
· No time to do "nothing at all" together
· To experience the joy of holding and watching your child sleep for hours (hopefully)
· You're not there to teach them to climb a tree
· To explore the bugs and insects
· To plant a seed and watch it grow
· Playing "what do you see in the clouds"
· Less time to go to the beach, woods, hiking, swimming, biking, skating, etc.
· No time to just "play"
· To be your kid's playmate
· To experience getting to be a kid all over again with your child
· Seeing and experiencing life through the eyes of your child
· No time to make pancakes in the morning
· No time to bake real cookies
· Not there to put a band aid on the invisible oweee
· Not get to see your child's imagination develop
· Not get to see their personal development as much as you could
· Don't get to see them beaming with pride at their BIG accomplishments
· Infants and toddlers spending 6-8-10 hours a day away from Mom or Dad
· The cost of daycare is an added expense: financial and emotional
When you work, at the end of your day, you just won't have the energy, patience or the time to spend with your child in the manner you should or would like to. Your job becomes the first priority and the child the second. They get what's left over if there is anything left to get. How do you like it when you are second fiddle to someone you care about and love?
Parents say, "Oh, they don't mind. He likes the babysitter a lot. He'd rather I went to work." That may be true, but chances are he's never experienced having you at home full-time to know what that is like. There can't be a comparison! Children so love unconditionally, they will put up with even the worst of circumstances and still love their parents. Because children only want to be loved, cared for and valued themselves.
Ask yourself this question: "If you chose to continue working when you have a choice not to, why did you have the children if you didn't want to raise them yourself? I know some people truly don't have a choice. But many choose to continue working even though they could make do on one salary or move to an area where they could manage financially. Our society has become so accustomed to having two incomes; we no longer think we have a choice not to work. Imagine this, in one year; if you spent five dollars less per day you will save $1825. That's one less cup of special coffee per day. If you spend ten dollars less per day, you will save $3650 per year. How much do you spend per day on lunches in your family? A large delivered pizza can easily run close to $20. One fast food meal for a family of four could easily be close to $25 or more. Where could you save money? The question is, are you willing to for the sake of your kids?
Add up all the possible costs of day care and compare to the costs and benefits of working. The most important cost of all to consider is that special time spent with your children. What is the cost to them? In a recent interview of Jane Fonda with 60 Minutes', Lesley Stahl, Fonda said, "I was not a good mother. And then, you end up paying for it later."
According to 60 Minutes, Jane created a school program to persuade teenage girls not to get pregnant, and to teach girls who are pregnant how to be better mothers. She created this program because of the mistakes she's made in her own life, and because of the mistakes her parents made raising her.
"If you don't have a parent or an adult, a teacher or a mentor ? really see you, really love you, 'Yes, there are things you do I don't like, but you're fantastic, you're good enough. I love you.' If that never happens to a child, the child assumes it's her fault and tries to compensate for it," says Fonda.
Don't make the mistakes you have experienced or you have seen others experience just because you don't look far enough ahead. Look at the bigger picture, look ahead ten years or so and imagine what life will be like with your children later on.
I say this, "If you don't have time for your children when they're young, they won't have time for you when you're old."
Copyright 2005 Eln Albert
Best known for her expertise in Interpersonal Communications, Eln Albert works with those that want to be at their best when influencing others. Eln is a Professional Speaker and Author.
For more information on how to be the best influencer as a parent or a boss go to http://www.ElnAlbert.com. Check out other articles by Ms. Albert and subscribe to get her free "The Magic of Influence" e-newsletter. In addition, she also offers free teleseminars and free team building exercises.
You have permission to publish these articles electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the signature box is included.
|
|
|
The Courage To Be A Loving Parent
Most of us really don't like it when someone is angry at us. We don't like it when people go into resistance to helping us when we need help, instead of caring about us. We don't like it when people withdraw from us, disconnecting from us and shutting us out. We don't like it when ...(related: Parenting)
Navigating In The New World: Parents And Teenagers Growing Together
One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture is the one that says, "Adolescence is a time of inevitable conflict." You will hear doctors say it, and teachers, and therapists, and pastors, and even parents. It seems that nearly everyone has bought into this myth.
The thinking goes like this:
1. Teenage "rebellion" is normal;
2. Because teenage "rebellion" is normal it is to be accepted, perhaps even encouraged by those who work regularly with t...(related: Parenting)
Legacy To Your Children
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30 at night and you just got home from a long day at work, but the day's not over yet. First, there's dinner, then homework and don't forget the chores. And, you have to finish a proposal for an important meeting tomorrow morning. Add a little stress from the monthly bills and the possibility of your company being downsized and you have pressures of the far too many US families.In addition, your children live in a rapid paced, MTV world where they are bombarded with media messages that define success as "bigger, better, faster," and "you can have it now ? and not have to work hard to get it." All too often the message...(related: Parenting)
Lifebooks: Every Adopted Child Needs One
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece is precious, whether it's a photo or quote from the orphanage staff. LifeBooks help put all the information pieces together in a way that helps your child make sense of, and ultimately feel good, about his/her history.People often ask me, "What is a LifeBook?" I will respond, "It's the best gift you can ever give an adopted child." A LifeBook is a record of an adoptee's life that uses words, photos, your child's artwork, computer graphics, and memorabilia."But it's more than a...(related: Parenting)
Homeschooling ? Can I Do It?
Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are afraid they don't have the training or ability to be their children's teacher. This is certainly understandable, because most parents never had any formal training to be a teacher. However, most parents don't have to worry about this issue.There is literally a supermarket of education resources available for parents to choose from to help them homeschool their children. These include low-cost Internet private schools that take most of the homeschooling burden off parents' backs.There are also hundreds of low-cost instruction books on how to teach your child reading, math, and many other subjects. These are available in most libraries and great book stores like Barnes & Noble and Borders. There are also thousands of computer sof...(related: Parenting)
Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Simple Suggestions To Make Your Life Easier
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able to Forget -Let go of grudges you may hold against your child's other parent, who is absent from BOTH of your lives. Holding onto feelings of anger will not change your situation and will probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need to devote to creating a positive environment for your child. If you dwell on y...(related: Parenting)
Let?s Google And Yahoo Our Kids? Education
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I can search the Internet on any subject that interests me, at any time day or night, in the comfort of my home. I was thinking how much fun it is to learn new things with Google or Yahoo, compared to the boredom or learning torture that public schools put millions of kids through every day.Let's consider the differences in how a typical child (we'll call her Jenny) learns when she uses Google or Yahoo, compared to how she learns in her public-school classroom.First, with Google or Yahoo, Jenny can explore any subject that fascinates her. She literally has the whole world at her fingertips. She can learn...(related: Parenting)
Reclaiming Her Identity: A Mothers Diary
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a mother of one, then suddenly seven made life very taxing for me. I soon came face to face with a challenging question. How did my identity become so obscure that I lost track of my hopes and dreams? Believing that I did not have any time left in my hectic schedule to accomplish my goals, I slowly began to lose perspective of whom and what I was about. My life became filled with doctor's appointments, therapy sessions, counseling, grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning, dance classes and swimming lessons.I anticipated my various new roles but they were not quite the way I imagined them. Adopting four children seemed like a really noble idea but the reality was that its profound vertig...(related: Parenting)
How To Teach Your Children Social Skills
As our children grow, they will be going to schools and interacting with lots of different people other. For example, friends and teachers. Hence it is necessary to teach t...(related: Parenting)
Time To Connect With Your Teen
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I happened to hear a mother telling her teenage daughter not to answer her ringing cell phone. Of course, the daughter explained to her mother that "she just had to answer it" As the mother was in the middle of stating how she barely gets two minutes of her daughters time in a day, and her daughter answering the ever so "important" call anyways, all I could think was how much I could relate with this poor woman. In fact, I'm sure most parents with teenage children can relat...(related: Parenting)
Loving Your Step-children
Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It is not enough for parents, step parents and extended family to feel a deep glow of love for the children in your circle of influence. You must convey that feeling into a message that is heard, felt and integrated by the child. Children need to be told both verbally and non-verbally how much they are valued for just being them.As I interviewed children for my latest book Raise a Confident Child, I was struck ...(related: Parenting)
How To Make A Time Capsule
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve a slice of history by creating a time capsule for your loved one?A personaliz...(related: Parenting)
The Ten Most Common Poisons Among Kids
For parents, keeping our kids safe is a constant top priority. But even with the best intentions it's possible to overlook some potentially harmful household poisons. According to the National Academy of Poison Control Centers, 92 percent of all ...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting