Blended Families Can Be Successful
|
Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It would be easy to give up when faced with all the conflicting methods of parenting and discipline that come to a family who has joined forces together.
As I was doing research for a recent book, I interviewed a young counselor at a youth camp. I was impressed with her sincerity, maturity, and gratitude that her "blended family" had made the effort and sacrifice to work together toward a common goal. She admitted that she was the instigator of most of the conflict and absolutely refused to cooperate on even the most menial request by her step-mother. She could tell that the adults were becoming increasingly unhappy and stressed and she was secretly glad that they were suffering.
Then an interesting thing happened. She was invited to spend a weekend with a friend and she saw what happens when families get along and support one another. The family held a family meeting to decide about some upcoming projects and chores. When putting activities on the calendar, she was amazed to see her friend volunteer to attend the ball game with her little brother so the parents could make another commitment. They laughed and joked with good natured ribbing as opposed to sarcastic mean spirited teasing. The family ended the family meeting with ice cream sundaes and she saw the kids pitch in without being asked and that they served the parents before getting their own bowl.
It was an eye-opener for this young lady to see that it is possible to work together in a win-win atmosphere. She honestly had not even realized it was possible to live in harmony as opposed to chaos and anger.
When she got home from that stay, she called a family meeting and everyone came fearing that she was going to say she was moving out if she didn't get her way. Instead, she told them about what she had witnessed and asked for a commitment for all of them to start over and become a cooperative, supportive and loving family where everyone was treated with respect.
She went on to tell me that it had not been easy to change old habits, especially with her. But, as a family they had set a goal and a commitment and had worked on their relationships and communication skills daily. As a young adult, she said that because of that commitment, she had gone into counseling to assist other young people who were filled with anger. She wanted to share the valuable lessons that she had learned.
Oh yes, she counts her step-mother as one of her best friends now.
In our living room is a beautiful potted plant. It contains a number of small individual stems and branches that, as separate entities, are fragile and unsteady. Each stem could probably make it if it were broken off and stuck in a glass of water, but it might not. However, grouped together, they gain strength and protection from one another. Their roots are intertwined and form a foundation that allows them to successfully withstand being knocked over and occasionally neglected.
Families are like that plant. We are all in this together, and we need to know there are others who will hold us up when we need it and support us as we grow stronger. The word for the strength of a unit is synergy. It means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
It is that common goal of cooperation and support that builds success in our children and our families. Please don't give up. Try one more time to provide the loving and respectful environment that each member of the family deserves.
Good luck and God bless. You do the most important work in the world.
Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator © 2005 www.ArtichokePress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
|
|
|
Can Mineral Deficiencies Lead To Behavioral Problems In Children?
A while ago I received this story from David in England, who wrote:
I am following your work with great interest as I am trying to get more information about the subject of ADD / ADHD for a friend of mine who was put in charge of such a child at school. She was given no training for this work nor was she given any backup. She was relieved to find that she was not the only one with this problem!
Although the child has finally been moved to another specialized school, it is likely that she will meet the problem again and so I am forwarding any relevant information to her that I can find.
Best regards, and carry on the good work,
David
Attached was a story from the Sunday Times of London, dated July, 1997. The headline read, "Zinc Diet Reduces Violence in Youths" written by Steve Connor,a Science...(related: Parenting)
What Is Prenatal Intelligence?
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a very hot topic among medical professionals and expecting parents because of the affects it might have on the fetus. Many...(related: Parenting)
What Parents Should Do For Children To Do Their Best After Divorce?
Why do some children still do best after divorce and separation? Is there divorce parenting approaches that really work? Read and learn the divorce parenting approaches that really work.Going through the process of divorce is a challenging life transition for both parents and children. During their parents' divorce, children often feel a wide variety of conflicting emotions. It is very important for parents to provide their children with understanding and support. Overall, the children who do best after divorce and separation are those whose parents dominantly employ 5 divorce parenting approaches. They:
Intermission: Wood Chips
I wanted to share with you one of the most valuable lessons my daughter taught me when she was sixteen-months-old. I call this essay, "Cherish Your Wood Chips."Today was one of those days where I just couldn't get enough done. No matter how many times my pen scratched off a to-do list item - a new one seemed to appear. But you, Samantha, didn't have anything on your agenda.At sixteen-months your days are usually q...(related: Parenting)
Is Your Child Ready For An Allowance?
Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but they sure think there is a never-ending supply of it. They see you at the grocery store pushing a cart overflowing with the week's groceries; you hand the cashier a piece of plastic and suddenly it's all yours. People come to the door asking for money to support a charity and it magically appears from the bottom of your purse as if you were pulling a rabbit from a hat. Instead of "mama" or "dada", "checkbook" might have been your child's first word. It makes no sense to them then, that every time they ask for something they'd like from the ...(related: Parenting)
Develop Your Childs Genius - Right Brain/left Brain Coordination
No matter how old your children are, you have an immense power to affect their growth, development and success in life. By actively pursuing activities that contribute to the better development of their brain, you provide them with an advantage over all other kids, and increase their chances to be successful in life. By doing that, you also make sure they will have plenty of experiences of success and achievement, so that they become self confident, positive and optimistic.There is...(related: Parenting)
Toxic Chemicals, Are Your Children Being Exposed?
You do what you can to keep your little ones safe and healthy in this world we live in. You put your house...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Secrets Revealed
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic club? You conclude that this is going to be great fun! Maybe, you even think this is just the ticket your bouncy little girl needs to get rid of her pent-up energy while meeting other little friends. Initially, all seems well as you proudly watch your Susie happily striving to achieve equilibrium success. However, as the first competitive trial draws near, Susie is apprehensive and fearful. She doesn't appear quite as secure as she did during the training classes. Why not?You're thrilled! Your ten year old son Randy wants to play on the little league baseball team. You think this is perfect. He can learn the importance of being a team member while gaining some confidence participating in a sport that he enjoys. His father is delighted to see that his son is ...(related: Parenting)
Is Your Child Becoming A Praise Junkie?
Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic bodily function? Do you praise your child for obeying the laws of gravity? Do you give praise for simple so...(related: Parenting)
How To Deal With Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. But what if your child constantly demonstrates negative behaviour? How are you going to deal with it?It can get very frustrating for a mother who is yelled at every time she says 'no' to a child. In my clinic, I've seen parents who feel desperate when their son or daughter who used to behave like a "saint" is now rebellious, oppositional, and involved in drugs.As a parent, what are your options?Establish a Hierarchy of Consequences ...(related: Parenting)
Homeschool Socialization - Developing Your Homeschool Childs Social Skills
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both know we're responsible for our children's social lives as well as our own. As homeschoolers, we also know that kids don't need public school pressure in order to find friends . . . so I'm not going to waste your time with hundreds of statistics to support homeschoolers and socialization. Instead let's explore the top two ways to find life long friends for our children . . . and ourselves!Support & Fun All...(related: Parenting)
Gifted Children - Getting The Balance Right
One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child is to encourage them to develop a range of interest outside the academic sphere that not only rounds them out but stops them from being isolated from their peersGifted children are a diverse group of kids who are talented in specific areas such as mathematics, language, sport or music. Some gifted kids are mutli-talented excelling in a variety of areas.Gifted children tend to be passionate and single-minded about their interests focusing their energ...(related: Parenting)
A Dads Thoughts On Dads Day
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read in the next five to eight minutes will not qualify as one of the top ten professionally written articles of the year: guaranteed.But you will read this, guaranteed: thoughts created on Father's Day from a guy who loves being a dad.21 REASONS I LOVE BEING A DAD... AND AN OLDER ONE AT THATI love the privilege of seeking to inspire, encourage and help my children.I love loving their mother.I love the home movies I experience. The live ones. The in house "reality shows" if you please. Kids raggin' on each other, telling mom and dad stories one more time, hugs at the door, serious discussions begun spontaneously, phone calls to say "Hi, I love you," and small hands pressed on a g...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting