The Role of Parenting Skills in Child Development

Actively Listening to your Child
Communicating with our children can be a difficult task at times. We feel like they're not. . .
"Because" Just Isn't the Answer
Children are inquisitive by nature. When they are younger, it's usually because they want . . .
Building You Child's Self Esteem
It's often been said that children learn what they live. So if you're looking for a place . . .
Celebrate your Child's Uniqueness
Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every chi. . .
Chart your Child's Accomplishments with a Chore Chart
It can be very frustrating to ask your child over and over again to complete their chores w. . .
Chores Can Help your Child Learn about Teamwork and a Strong Work Ethic
Chores can help develop a sense of responsibility and self worth in your child. It should be und. . .
Clear Expectations Make Discipline Easier
Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate anything with your child. Setting clea. . .
Connect with Your Child but Don't Overdo it
We all want to connect and be involved with our child. Children of involved parents genera. . .
Consistency is Key to Successful Discipline
Consistency is key to successfully teaching your child right from wrong when disciplining them. . . .
Constructing Your Child's Healthy Sense of Self Esteem
Your child's self esteem is their mental foundation. A self-assured child is confident, secure, h. . .
Control your Anger, Don't let it Control You
Anger can be a paralyzing and debilitating condition. But it can be a terrifying and degra. . .
Do As I Say and As I Do
Children learn to imitate at a very young age. It's how they learn to behave, care for themselve. . .
Encourage your Child to Feel Important
It's imperative for a child's healthy development to feel important and worthy. Healthy se. . .
Encouraging Play Encourages a Child's Development
We've all heard the term, "Oh, that's child's play." It implies something is easy, frivolous and . . .
Expect Only the Best from Your Child
Expect the best from your child. If you expect the best behavior and performance you're your chi. . .
Follow Through Is the Key to Successful Discipline
Let's face it. There are just some days when it would just seem easier to let your child h. . .
Get Involved in your Child's Activities, Hobbies and School
It's probably no secret that children who have involved parents are more happy, healthy, an. . .
Handling Conflict about Rules Enforcement at Home
Some parents may worry that setting strict rules may distance them from their children. Bu. . .
Harsh Discipline: Does it do More Harm than Good?
Recent studies suggest that low-income parents tend to endorse much harsher discipline, partially. . .
Help your Child Kick the Thumb Sucking Habit
Thumb sucking is a concern many parents have. Toddlers suck their thumbs because it's comfo. . .
Hobbies are Healthy
Hobbies benefit children in many ways. It gives a child an opportunity to express themselves, and. . .
Interrupt your Child's Interruption Habit
Trying to teach your child not to interrupt can sometimes be an exercise in frustration. <. . .
Learn from Your Mistakes and so will Your Child
Everyone makes mistakes. Granted, some mistakes are more significant than others and harder. . .
Make Quality Time with your Child Count
In today's busy world, work, household chores and social activities all put a strain on you. . .
The Process of Negotiating the Rules with your Child
We all know as parents that discussing and negotiating the rules with our children is never. . .
Our Ever-Changing Role as a Parent
We watch our children grow right before our very eyes. It seems like yesterday they were a. . .
Physical Punishment is Ineffective and Harmful
Effective discipline does not involve physical punishment of children. Recent studies have shown . . .
Positive Discipline without Hurting your Child
Children always seem to find a way to 'push our buttons' at times and really try our patien. . .
Positive Praise for your Child's Pride
Praising a child correctly is important to the development of positive behaviors. It's a great wa. . .
Present a Unified Parental Front When Disciplining your Child
Disciplining your child is never easy. You probably know from experience and mistakes how . . .
Productive and Positive Potty Training
Your child's showing all the signs of being ready to potty train. That's great! But now, where do. . .
Protect your Child's Emotional Well-Being
In our effort to balance very full and hectic lives with our families and our jobs, we may . . .
Providing a Safe and Secure Home for your Child
Accidents in the home are the primary cause of death in U.S. children. By taking a few sim. . .
Successful Two-Way Communications with your Child
One of the most frustrating challenges we face as parents is communicating effectively with our c. . .
Tactics for Tackling a Toddler's Temper Tantrum
Even the best behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can range from whining. . .
Take the Bite out of your Toddler's Biting Problem
The majority of toddlers engage in some biting between their first and third birthdays. Probably . . .
Teach Children to Respect by Treating them with Respect
In order to teach or child to treat others with respect and dignity, they must also be trea. . .
Teach your Child to Give Respect and They'll Gain Respect in Return
One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect and the best way to te. . .
The Detrimental Effects of Verbal Abuse and How to Stop the Cycle
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." That's ju. . .
The Family that Eats Together Stays Healthy Together
Recent studies have shown that not only do children like to sit down at the dinner table and eat . . .
The Importance of a Regular Routine to your Child
Regular schedules provide the day with a structure that orders a young child's world. Although pr. . .
The Importance of Crystal-Clear Rules for your Child
The world is a far more scary and complicated place than it was when you were a child. As a resu. . .
The Keys to Effective Discipline
Disciplining a child is one of the most important, yet difficult, roles of being a parent. Effec. . .
The Positive Influence of Being Involved in your Child's Education
It has been shown many times over in research studies that a parent who is involved in their chil. . .
The Truth about Lying
Honesty and dishonesty are learned in the home. Parents are often concerned when their child or a. . .
The Whys of Whining
"Moooooooooooom!" It's irritating, it's frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though . . .
Time Outs Help Reinforce Positive Behavior and Discourage Misbehaving
Disciplining a young child using the time out method can be very effective, and will work . . .
Training the Fussy Eater
Toddlers can be fussy eaters who refuses to try a new food at least half of the time. Approximate. . .
You Can't Spoil a Child through Love
Though we all worry about spoiling our child, rest assured that you cannot spoil your child with . . .

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11 Empowering Messages to Motivate Your Child

Ann Oliveri, Master of Education

Motivation is the drive to achieve success. The things you say to your child have a powerful
influence over the attitudes they develop. Inspire your child to achieve success in learning
by sharing these motivational messages with them.

Message 1 - I'm Listening to You

How do you find out what motivates your child? You simply ask, 'What made you get that
done?' and really listen to the answer. We are all unique, so the answer will be different for
each of us. Fully listen to your child's reply and give it importance. By that I mean think
about what they are saying, not what you want to say next. Listen without interrupting,
from beginning to end. Listen with genuine acceptance and understanding. When you do,
your child will feel accepted, loved and more motivated.

Message 2 - It's OK to feel like that

Be aware of your child's emotional reactions to learning. These may include showing anger,
anxiety or frustration. Some children react by avoiding or blaming the task or other people.
Others may give the impression of being unenthusiastic or uncooperative. So try to really
understand how your child feels. Listen with sympathy and sensitivity. Some children give
up on learning because they think that personal effort and persistence are useless. They feel
helpless. If this is happening to your child, accept your child's expression of negative
feelings. You could say something like, 'I understand how you would feel like that. It's OK.
How about we look at some new ways of thinking to change what happens for you? Then
you might feel, and be able to do things, differently.'

Message 3 -Your thoughts make a difference

Our thoughts influence how we feel and what we do. Begin to gently challenge your child's
thoughts. Introduce your child to the idea of 'self-talk.' Self-talk is another word for what
you are thinking, or telling yourself, about events as you experience them. An optimistic
style of self-talk leads to success in learning. You can also help your child develop optimism
by sharing your own self-talk. Talk about something your child has done well by sharing
your own thoughts out loud. Say something like, 'I was just saying to myself that when you
try hard, with your homework, you get good results.' In this way, you not only model
optimistic self-talk but you attribute your child's success to 'trying hard', something they
can control.

Message 4 - You are in control

A sense of control means that your child realises that how they think, and what they do,
makes a difference. When they put in personal effort and persistence they can achieve
success in learning. This leads to self-confidence and optimism about their future. It can
dissolve feelings of helplessness. Focus on effort, strategy and attitude. Things your child
can control like trying hard, practice, planning and organisation. Respect your child's
autonomy. Encourage your child to take responsibility for solving their own problems.
Involve your child in family decision making. Assist your child to do the things they really
love to do.

Message 5 - Follow your heart

Treasure your child's uniqueness. After all, there is no one else quite like them. Your child is
an original, so help them be the unique person they are. Help your child realise that there is
more to being successful than competence in a narrow range of skills. Allow your child many
opportunities to show the world, and themselves, what they can do. There are many
pathways to success. Discover your child's unique learning style. It is the key to unlocking
their natural motivation.

Message 6 - Give it your personal best

When you do what you love your natural motivation kicks in. Just ask 'peak performers' like
our elite sportspeople. Interestingly, while they are involved in highly competitive sports,
they often talk about 'personal bests' as their primary motivator. They understand that we
can't win all the time, and they accept failure as an indicator of their next challenge. By
encouraging your child to achieve their 'personal best' they can compete with their own past
performance. This not only gives them more control over the outcome, but also prevents
the damaging effects of comparison with others.

Message 7 - One step at a time

At times your child may feel overwhelmed by the amount of work they have to do. The
solution is to break it into smaller parts and take it step by step. Instead of seeing a page of
sums for Maths homework, encourage your child to do the first couple then praise them for
their effort. As each step is completed, encourage your child's effort so they feel successful.
The focus is on effort, something your child can control. This gives your child the confidence
to keep trying.

Message 8 - Reward yourself

Everyone needs to be acknowledged for their efforts and achievements. Thinking of how you
are going to reward yourself, when the job is done, can be a powerful motivator. Help your
child tap into this feeling each step along the way, by discussing and setting up small
rewards. Remember each small step where your child feels successful will lead to greater
success. So celebrate your child's efforts and achievements. Teach your child how to reward
themselves by giving them feedback such as, 'That's a terrific project. What do you think
about it?' Encourage your child to make positive comments about their efforts and
achievements.

Message 9 - Use people power

Many great achievers say that they could have never achieved their success on their own.
Everyone needs a success team to support and encourage them 100% of the way. Who is
on your child's team? Have you considered a study buddy or a mentor who shares your
child's special interests? Positive people can often teach, through their own example, how to
press on when enthusiasm wanes and how to bounce back from a setback. Support your
child's school. It gives your child a sense of belonging and helps them fit in. Show your child
by example that it's OK to ask for help, by seeking help when you need it. Each child is
different and every stage of development brings new challenges, so there may be times
when you need some advice and support.

Message 10 - See the funny side

Laughter is good for learning. It not only relieves stress and reduces anxiety but helps your
child to relax and regain alertness, and to refocus on the task. Laugh at your own mistakes.
Children love it. It gives them the message that mistakes are OK and reduces the fear of
failing. So have fun, lighten up and share a joke, even if it is at your own expense.

Message 11 - I love and accept you for who you are

You can have a deep and profoundly positive effect on your child. The messages you give them in
their childhood stay in their minds through to adulthood, and influence the way they think about
themselves and interact with the world. These messages affect their willingness to have a go, to keep
trying, and to bounce back when things go wrong. Listen with genuine interest to your child's feelings.
Treasure your child's uniqueness. Most of all show them you love and accept them for who they are.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Ann Oliveri M. Ed. Dip. R.S.A.TESOL has 30 years experience teaching in Australia, Japan,
Hong Kong and Malaysia. She was recently awarded the Dean’s Commendation for
Outstanding Achievement. If you want positive and effective results visit
www.SkyrocketToSuccess.com.

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